Big Top

dreams of summer shade.
slipping through the veil.
beneath my tidal conscience i have found out why i won't prevail.
my memory
enhanced through autosurgery.
the trepanation hurt but so did pulling out my teeth.

stitching closed the tear.
i'm so fully aware.

and i doubt i've made mistakes.
sure, there have been fractures and breaks.
the brand new you always astounds.
build me up until the big top comes crashing down.

magic in the air.
viscera on the sheets.
my skin is wrapped in foil and the rocks spark on my feet.
my organs optimized.
my myelin stripped off.
it doesn't matter much if i have seizures when i cough.

my bones made flexible.
my reflection terrible.