feverdream

so entranced i watched her climb the stair and waited until she shut off the light.
so enamored that under harvest moon i faltered at such marvelous design
the air was crisp and clean in me. and i dreamed of wondrous signs
so enslaved i hid my filthy self away from beauty and perfection realized.

so pristine, my hands debased.
angeline, ambitions erased.
analyze, fall away, i must be far too dull to be
special to one so wondrous and pristine.

fascinated, i followed with my eyes until i knew the thoughts behind each step.
quite elated, tireless, i fantasized about the secret reveries she kept.
the thought was fresh and clean to me, i left reality behind
and so delighted, i shut my pilgrim mouth and hoped to be reflected in those eyes.

though i drown myself on wasted tears, my pulse beats dry as kindling or coal.
stumbling down the wicked avenues and bleeding as though barbs lay on my soul.
the breeze a memory in me in those rare moments i am whole.
in the ground i'll lay one of these days when agony relinquishes control.